The Old Man On The Mountain

A View From the Backwoods of NH

Bye Bye Turkey

As the sun sets ever faster now that September’s here, signaling the end of summer, I started thinking of Labor Days past, when suddenly one of those “precious memories” popped into my head.

It was many years ago, when the Ex and I, along with our first born and my parents, spent the weekend on Lake Winnipesaukee. This was a few months before her sister was born, and at a time when we were teaching her to talk. Since we hailed from “Taxachusetts” and were now in the tax-free haven that is New Hampshire, my Mom and my Ex decided to go do some shopping, leaving the boys with the little princess.

Before they left, we had decided that we’d eat lunch when the girls got back. But you know how toddlers are – they have no fixed schedule. And, amid the calls of “Jay, your kid” every time my daughter moved, Kym decided that she was hungry and let me know that she wanted to eat (We all know how this works – first a request, then a demand, then the screaming starts).

But this time it worked out well, because we were leaving the next day and wanted to finish up any “small” things in the fridge. As it turned out, the was some deli turkey left in there, not enough for a sandwich, but enough for a toddler to snack on. And so we sat there in front of the TV, watching the ball game with Dad, as I fed her sliced turkey.

Now I should mention that, from the beginning, when we’d have a snack, if the food ran out before she was satisfied, she’d pitch a fit and demand that I somehow find more. To alleviate this, when we finished something I taught her to say “bye bye” to it, thus signifying the end. Like “bye bye cookies” or “bye bye chips”.

And as she finished up the meat I said “Say bye bye turkey”, never once giving the line a further thought. Until she said it. This was back in the day when the word “turkey” could be used as an insult, like “Hey, watch it turkey”. When Kym spoke those words, I had all I could do to keep from laughing. And when she saw me smile she said it again, and again. I found it both precocious and funny, and couldn’t wait until her Mom got back to hear it. This wasn’t some mumbled toddler phrase – she said it clearly and I was impressed with her annunciation.

Later that afternoon, when her Mom got back and was walking through the door, I asked her to stop for a minute, then I turned to Kym and said “Say ‘bye bye turkey’ to Momma” And that’s what she did – “Bye bye turkey…Momma”. Now, she threw the “Momma” in at the end, after a slight pause, with no help from me. But the way she said it made it sound just like she’d aimed it straight at her Mom.

And of course I couldn’t help but laugh because, damn it, it was funny. And when Kym saw the joy I was experiencing, like any good toddler, she went in instant repeat mode. Which made me laugh louder and left the Ex six ways to pissed off. My Mom and Dad didn’t understand what was so funny (you know, sometimes old folks just don’t get the joke) and couldn’t understand the mix of emotions.

And to this day, the EX still firmly believes that I spent the entire afternoon teaching our daughter to say “Bye bye turkey Momma”. And it makes me smile.